Episode 6: Parenting Decolonized Podcast
Decolonizing starts in the mind...ESPECIALLY when it comes to parenting. In this week’s episode, I talk with Certified Positive Discipline Educator Krissy Gabrielle about how to shift your mindset in order to decolonize your parenting and become a more conscious, intentional parent. Because without these crucial mindset shifts, you’ll find yourself triggered by your child’s age-appropriate behavior and parenting from your ego, which is almost always rooted in some kind of fear.
During the show we’re going to break down
What is conscious parenting and what is it not
Why so many people hold on to fear-based punitive parenting
How white supremacy has affected how we view ourselves and our children
Why it's important to pause before reacting
Ways to start the transition from punitive punishments to positive parenting
How conscious parenting is activism against white supremacy
Resources that will help you dig deeper into conscious parenting
"For these are all our children. We will either profit by, or pay for, Whatever they become."- James Baldwin
One big thing to remember as you transition to conscious parenting is that it is all about US...the parents. This style of parenting asks us to look within to learn how our triggers, traumas, and ideas about children affect how we discipline and interpret our children's behavior. Conscious Parenting is about bringing your awareness to the hidden fears or subconscious thoughts running in the background that may cause you to lash out in anger.
When you can identify your triggers, they lose their power to control your behavior.
“I shouldn’t have to keep repeating myself over and over again. She should just do as she’s told!” You may be thinking. Well, maybe she’s just not capable of following that rule developmentally, which means it has nothing to do with you.
See, here is where we level-up when it comes to conscious parenting: We use a deep level of introspection and self-awareness to see that we are triggered, and then we ask ourselves WHY. And that’s the secret sauce. The WHY. Are you triggered because you expect you feel like your letting your child get off too easy? Or do you feel like she should just do what she’s told, no questions asked? Maybe you feel her inability to follow rules is a reflection of your parenting?
And because you did the work, you realize that the yelling is caused by your ego being bruised…. NOT because your child broke the rules. Conscious Parenting is the recognition that parenting is all about YOU. And your internal world. This mindset shift takes work. It isn’t easy, especially when you are tired from a long day and have no patience left. This is why becoming attuned to yourself is so important.
This isn't easy work, which is why coaches like myself and Krissy exist...to help you learn how to look within and use different techniques in order to make sure you aren't parenting from a place of fear or ego. If you want more hands on help, sign up for Krissy's 6-week Parenting Reimagined Course here: https://www.krissyscouch.com/product-page. And don't forget to follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
As always, thanks for being awesome and listening to another episode of Parenting Decolonized. We'll be discussing this more on the Parenting Decolonized Facebook page, but if you feel moved to do so, please leave a review on iTunes to let me know how I'm doing. Until next time ya'll...love ya!